Tuesday, June 17, 2003
It’s funny.
When you work at a University job, the summers are filled with mindless projects and hours of utter boredom. So, in order to occupy my time, I have decided to find myself a Prison Pen Pal. Kambri Crews had the link on her site yesterday and I decided that that was just about the best idea ever. So for the last two hours I have contacted my favorite prisoners and let them know that I want to be their friend. Upon telling my mom about my new venture, she said, “Why don’t you take that time to write to your brother in Iraq”. I replied “Nah”.
The two guys I picked as my pen pals are buff and HOT. One of them is bisexual and the other is straight. One is in jail for robbery and the other is in jail for homicide. Yes…this was the best idea I have ever had ever. I can only hope that these boys will get out of jail, come find my family and me and brutally murder us all. HOTT!
In other news…I began using Trim Spa today. This product is supposed to increase your metabolism while fighting to decrease fat pockets. The bottle also said that it is an appetite suppressant. So this morning, I took one pill (instead of the recommended 2) and have found myself more ravenous than usual. Maybe it’s my metabolism speeding up. Or maybe it’s all in my head and I just spent $40 on horse pills for nothing. HOTT!
My birthday is on July 2nd. (I am a die-hard cancer-through and through) I am going to be 26 years old. YIPES. I thought 25 was bad, but 26 is like 30 which is like 50 which is like death in a body. In all honesty, I have yet to truly care about turning another year older. Maybe that anxiety will come in time, but so far…I could care less if I am 26 or 57. As long as I always have baby smooth skin on my face and on my ass. And as long as I can always jerk on my penis as though it’s made of rubber. Hairy rubber.
Each year my friends do something amazing for me for my birthday. Up until 2 years ago, I was always thrown a surprise party. Tons of my friends would get together and we would rock out in one way or another. Sometimes it was booze filled, sometimes it was cake and ice cream filled. Okay, it was only cake and ice cream filled before I turned 21. Two years ago, once the parties stopped coming, Kelly and her ex-girlfriend, Angie, in conjunction with Paul, took me to the Crown Plaza Hotel for the night. I snorted lines of coke the entire time and we all had a blast. I have to admit the only part of the night that I wasn’t too fond of was the coke. And I have yet to touch the stuff since.
Last year, Kelly and Rita planned the day and we all went to dinner and drinks and opened tons of presents and I even went to a psychic during the day. It was one of the best days that I have had in my entire life. I remember sitting at dinner and saying: “I don’t even want to drink alcohol! I am having such a good time being sober with all of the people that I love!” Mariah was there, Ari was there, Angie, Kelly, and Rita were there, and it was wonderful.
But this year is going to be different.
Everyone is kinda poor now. And our group of friends has split into so many different directions. Since it is now June 17 and no one has mentioned my birthday to me, I have decided to take the matter into my own hands. It is up to me to plan the celebration. And you know what? That’s okay. For years I haven’t had to plan my own birthday, so I’m due.
I decided to work at my job during the day of my birthday. Usually I would take the day off, but I had such a great time being in the office last year that I figured why not do it again? I have off the 3rd and 4th, so no need to take the 2nd as well.
Wednesday night, the day of my birthday, I am going to spend the evening with Paul. I am leaving the entire night up to him, which is probably a very risky thing to do. Paul is terrible with planning ANYTHING and I am hoping to high heaven that he doesn’t fuck this night up. It means the world to me to be able to spend the night with him. I haven’t spent a birthday alone with him since the year we first got together. It could be a beautiful night or a terrible night. It’s all dependent upon how much he truly cares about me.
Thursday I have off from work, so I am hoping that Kelly and Angie and maybe Mariah will plan some fun stuff for us to do during the day. (HINT,HINT GIRLS!) Thursday night I want everyone to meet at my apartment for a few drinks before we hit the town! I’m talking going out to some fun gay bars! So probably “Splash bar” and maybe “The Roxy” or something. I want us to drink a lot, stay up late, smoke the pot, and have a wonderful time altogether. In my wildest dreams, I want all of us to crash at the same location, whether that’s at Mariah’s apartment in Brooklyn, a hotel room, or crammed into my tiny apartment in Times Square.
On Friday, the 4th of July, I hope that we will all wake up together and have some breakfast while laughing and giggling about the previous night’s activities. Some time around 2ish, I hope that all of us will go to a local park to have a picnic. I’m talking hamburgers, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, and if Paul is there…some of his famous BBQ ribs. I want to cook and lay out in the sun, drink some beers, and be with the people that I love the most. (cept for Rita, who won’t be able to come. But more about that in a sec.)
After our picnic is over, I would like our little party to continue to the fireworks. This is the first 4th of July that I have spent in NYC and I am pretty excited about it. I have spent the last two 4th’s in Boston with Mariah and Paul. This year, I don’t have to leave the city to see them…they are here with me! After the fireworks and a beautiful day together, I hope that we will all slap on some smiles and go back out to the bars.
And that’s it. Saturday and Sunday of that week will be meant for detoxing and masturbating.
Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Do you think people will want to come to this get together? It’s always hard to plan things for my birthday, cuz a lot of people go away for the 4th of July weekend. But I am hoping that people love me enough to stick around this year. Time will tell.
The only downfall is that my Rita won’t be able to be with us. But she has offered to buy my bus ticket to Syracuse for the following weekend! That way I can finally see her again and be with her in her new home. And it will be just us! Hanging out, talking and laughing and singing and being best friends. If it weren’t for her offer of a free visit, I would be extremely saddened by her absence at my “party”.
And that’s that!
Sorry for the very informative, not really entertaining, post today. I had to get all of my ideas about my birthday down on paper so that I can get it straight (er…gay) in my head. Invitations will be going out by the end of today. YAY! HOORAY! BOOM BALAY! SNORE McCRAY! ANY OTHER WORD THAT RHYMES WITH A!
That’s it!
I hope everyone has a nice Tuesday. Two weeks from tomorrow, the extravaganza begins!
What are YOU going to get me?
When you work at a University job, the summers are filled with mindless projects and hours of utter boredom. So, in order to occupy my time, I have decided to find myself a Prison Pen Pal. Kambri Crews had the link on her site yesterday and I decided that that was just about the best idea ever. So for the last two hours I have contacted my favorite prisoners and let them know that I want to be their friend. Upon telling my mom about my new venture, she said, “Why don’t you take that time to write to your brother in Iraq”. I replied “Nah”.
The two guys I picked as my pen pals are buff and HOT. One of them is bisexual and the other is straight. One is in jail for robbery and the other is in jail for homicide. Yes…this was the best idea I have ever had ever. I can only hope that these boys will get out of jail, come find my family and me and brutally murder us all. HOTT!
In other news…I began using Trim Spa today. This product is supposed to increase your metabolism while fighting to decrease fat pockets. The bottle also said that it is an appetite suppressant. So this morning, I took one pill (instead of the recommended 2) and have found myself more ravenous than usual. Maybe it’s my metabolism speeding up. Or maybe it’s all in my head and I just spent $40 on horse pills for nothing. HOTT!
My birthday is on July 2nd. (I am a die-hard cancer-through and through) I am going to be 26 years old. YIPES. I thought 25 was bad, but 26 is like 30 which is like 50 which is like death in a body. In all honesty, I have yet to truly care about turning another year older. Maybe that anxiety will come in time, but so far…I could care less if I am 26 or 57. As long as I always have baby smooth skin on my face and on my ass. And as long as I can always jerk on my penis as though it’s made of rubber. Hairy rubber.
Each year my friends do something amazing for me for my birthday. Up until 2 years ago, I was always thrown a surprise party. Tons of my friends would get together and we would rock out in one way or another. Sometimes it was booze filled, sometimes it was cake and ice cream filled. Okay, it was only cake and ice cream filled before I turned 21. Two years ago, once the parties stopped coming, Kelly and her ex-girlfriend, Angie, in conjunction with Paul, took me to the Crown Plaza Hotel for the night. I snorted lines of coke the entire time and we all had a blast. I have to admit the only part of the night that I wasn’t too fond of was the coke. And I have yet to touch the stuff since.
Last year, Kelly and Rita planned the day and we all went to dinner and drinks and opened tons of presents and I even went to a psychic during the day. It was one of the best days that I have had in my entire life. I remember sitting at dinner and saying: “I don’t even want to drink alcohol! I am having such a good time being sober with all of the people that I love!” Mariah was there, Ari was there, Angie, Kelly, and Rita were there, and it was wonderful.
But this year is going to be different.
Everyone is kinda poor now. And our group of friends has split into so many different directions. Since it is now June 17 and no one has mentioned my birthday to me, I have decided to take the matter into my own hands. It is up to me to plan the celebration. And you know what? That’s okay. For years I haven’t had to plan my own birthday, so I’m due.
I decided to work at my job during the day of my birthday. Usually I would take the day off, but I had such a great time being in the office last year that I figured why not do it again? I have off the 3rd and 4th, so no need to take the 2nd as well.
Wednesday night, the day of my birthday, I am going to spend the evening with Paul. I am leaving the entire night up to him, which is probably a very risky thing to do. Paul is terrible with planning ANYTHING and I am hoping to high heaven that he doesn’t fuck this night up. It means the world to me to be able to spend the night with him. I haven’t spent a birthday alone with him since the year we first got together. It could be a beautiful night or a terrible night. It’s all dependent upon how much he truly cares about me.
Thursday I have off from work, so I am hoping that Kelly and Angie and maybe Mariah will plan some fun stuff for us to do during the day. (HINT,HINT GIRLS!) Thursday night I want everyone to meet at my apartment for a few drinks before we hit the town! I’m talking going out to some fun gay bars! So probably “Splash bar” and maybe “The Roxy” or something. I want us to drink a lot, stay up late, smoke the pot, and have a wonderful time altogether. In my wildest dreams, I want all of us to crash at the same location, whether that’s at Mariah’s apartment in Brooklyn, a hotel room, or crammed into my tiny apartment in Times Square.
On Friday, the 4th of July, I hope that we will all wake up together and have some breakfast while laughing and giggling about the previous night’s activities. Some time around 2ish, I hope that all of us will go to a local park to have a picnic. I’m talking hamburgers, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, and if Paul is there…some of his famous BBQ ribs. I want to cook and lay out in the sun, drink some beers, and be with the people that I love the most. (cept for Rita, who won’t be able to come. But more about that in a sec.)
After our picnic is over, I would like our little party to continue to the fireworks. This is the first 4th of July that I have spent in NYC and I am pretty excited about it. I have spent the last two 4th’s in Boston with Mariah and Paul. This year, I don’t have to leave the city to see them…they are here with me! After the fireworks and a beautiful day together, I hope that we will all slap on some smiles and go back out to the bars.
And that’s it. Saturday and Sunday of that week will be meant for detoxing and masturbating.
Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Do you think people will want to come to this get together? It’s always hard to plan things for my birthday, cuz a lot of people go away for the 4th of July weekend. But I am hoping that people love me enough to stick around this year. Time will tell.
The only downfall is that my Rita won’t be able to be with us. But she has offered to buy my bus ticket to Syracuse for the following weekend! That way I can finally see her again and be with her in her new home. And it will be just us! Hanging out, talking and laughing and singing and being best friends. If it weren’t for her offer of a free visit, I would be extremely saddened by her absence at my “party”.
And that’s that!
Sorry for the very informative, not really entertaining, post today. I had to get all of my ideas about my birthday down on paper so that I can get it straight (er…gay) in my head. Invitations will be going out by the end of today. YAY! HOORAY! BOOM BALAY! SNORE McCRAY! ANY OTHER WORD THAT RHYMES WITH A!
That’s it!
I hope everyone has a nice Tuesday. Two weeks from tomorrow, the extravaganza begins!
What are YOU going to get me?
